What Happened to My Fear

While in the midst of several crises I am at peace. Wow, that is a different place to be. I have heard that when I grow spiritually, fear of financial insecurity will leave me but now I am experiencing it. My heart is not racing and there is no committee of people having conversations in my head of what I woulda, shoulda, coulda done to stop this.

Where did this peace come from? I have been growing spiritually since 1993. This was when I started building a personal relationship with a higher power I call God. I have been religious all my life but I was missing something. It turned out to be a spiritual connection. The path that lead to this started in September of 1992 when Oprah had a person named Marianne Williams on her show talking about a book that was #1 on the New York Sellers list called "Return to Love." I immediately bought the book and started reading it. I couldn't put it down. It spoke of a loving God not a punishing God. That is what resonated with my soul. That is what Iwas missing in my life.

I soon met others that were on a similar quest as me. They kept telling me to meditate. I wasn't sure how that worked so I went to the library and got every tape they had on the subject. I was on a mission now. I didn't have a clue what the mission was but I was opening up from my soul like I never experienced before. I now know that prayer is when I talk to God but meditation is when I get still, quiet my mind and listen to God. This has opened up a way to have a direct relationship with God and learn his will for me on a daily basis.

I have learned he does not want me to live in fear. I have been working on that one for years. Today I have an old car that is causing me to be unable to drive far distances. It is now running hot and I suspect it is about to blow an engine. Instead of fear I have a towing service phone number and $65 to have it towed should it decided to die. That is just dealing with life on life's terms.

I also have IRS wanting me to pay taxes on income I didn't earn. Try to get them to change their records. That is like cutting out your teeth with sissors. Ouch...What can I do here. Borrow a car that will let me drive in traffic and go visit them armed with all my records. Look out IRS here I come.

I have learned that my job is to suit up and show and God is in charge of the results. Did I have fear when these things popped up in my life. Of course. I would love to say I always go straight from fear to faith but I am just not there yet, all of the time. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

What I have learned to do is get quiet and pray to God to show me my part. When I get quiet I can get answers that come from God. How do I know it is from God? Usually it is not anything I would have thought of. It can't be my idea, I don't think that sanely. Once I have an answer I am ready to do my part of the action.

This is just a few examples of the ways I deal with life on life's terms today. It is a very peaceful place to be. When I am at peace, I can stay in the moment and see all the joy God has put right in front of me. This very moment is where God is and as long as I am there I have all the help I need to deal with any problem. Go GOD!!!