My Relationship With God

I know longer fear God, I have  unconditional love from God and this never changes. 

We are dual selves in human form. One being the energy self with God and the other which I choose to call ego. Others choose to call it evil, or devil.  I am a human with an ego and a being connected to my higher power.  It is my choice to decide how to live.

When I am living from ego I am not doing God's will. I am cheating myself of God's love and missing all the opportunities he has placed in front of me. God didn't leave me, I left him.  I left the current moment.

Ego is controlled by worldly things.  Things I think will make me happy. (Home, Cars, Money and just a lot of stuff) Ego also fuels my fear of losing people, places and things that I think I need in my life to make me happy.

One example was my car.  When I had my old car I feared it breaking down on me, then I would not have a car to drive to work and lose my job.  Wow, that is a lot of projection.

Then it came to me from God's solution.   You have the money and phone number of a local towing company and my daddy let me borrow a vehicle until I got my new car.  Transportation solved. The car never left me stranded.  All that worry for nothing.  I did get tired of it and let God take it over and the new car was even better than I ever believed it could be. My ego was in fear of losing something and my faith cancelled out those fears and I got still enough to hear God say "Child I am protecting you." I didn't lose what I thought I needed but instead I got a better new car out of it.

I needed a new place to live and one literally walked up to my job and she laid the picture on the receptionist desk. It was an upstairs apartment so I didn't have any downstairs noise and it had big nice rooms. I have now been there 4 years. It was much nicer and private than I expected.

We all need material things in this world to function while in human form, however it is when I think I can't do without a person, place or thing I shut down from God's will.  God will always hold my hand no matter how stressful or fearful it may be.

God is in the solution. God does not punish or test me. Life on humans terms throws things at me.  God holds my hand and walks through it with me.  God is my solution to life on life's terms no matter what it throws.

I always have some footwork to do each time life throws me a curve.  Even if it is to be still and listen for God's direction. I have learned that prayer is when I talk to God and meditation is when I listen to God.  the footwork on the car was to get the number of the wrecker company.  I had the money in case that happened. It eased my mind even though God knew I didn't need it but he sent me a solution because I couldn't be still and find peace in the situation. He was the solution to the problem.

When I was looking for full time work I got a job working Monday-Wednesday and another company that needed me Thursday and Friday.  Poor dad was hoping to be off those days and let me run for him.  He found a solution. He just takes Friday off anyway and let's the shop figure it out.

God handles all my needs and most of my wants to live a comfortable peaceful human life. I am still surprised when I get more than I ever imagined. 

I wanted to be a grandmother and I got triplets.  All healthy and wonderful.  I also get to see them and love on them every week. My daughter and son-in-law actually want me around. What a gift.

Finding a doctor I could afford to find out what my problem is from getting out of breath just walking up the stairs.  I have the money to go back and get my blood work done. I needed direction and God was in the solution. He directed me to the right medical group, one I can afford.  I am taking care of this body God gave to me.

God loves me unconditionally and he "DOES NOT PUNISH ME."  Things happen because other humans have ego's and many times their pain or fear guides them and they cross my path.  Many times my own human choices punish me but God never does.  He is always in the solution.

Crap from the IRS-God guided me to make the right phone call, go in person to the right person and get all my paper work turned in.  Now I need to followup and check to see if everything has been settled.  That is my footwork and the solution is in God's hands.

No matter what my ego does God is not there. He is in the being part of my human being experience.  He is always there even when I mess up and choose wrong.  He is there to help me clean it up and make amends wherever possible.

God does not punish.  He is not human, he knows the entire picture, he doesn't need to judge.  My job today is to stay in God's will at this very moment and appreciate the people, places and things he has placed in front of me..  Go God